Maybe I had a fiercer look in my face last time or maybe I was just lucky, but during my last pregnancy I only had one instance of someone trying to touch me, and that was an old, senile lady who signalled her intent from miles away and whom I was able to fend off before she actually managed her assault.
This time I have been touched at least five times, all of them unexpectedly.
Note to all the touchy-feely people out there: we teach our children it isn't okay if other people touch them and we teach them not to touch other people without asking, and you wouldn't dream of touching a woman on the belly any other time, so stop the ^&&%#^&#% touching!!
Pregnant women are not somehow suddenly in a different class of "human" when we become pregnant. We don't belong to you or to society. All the laws of polite society still apply to us. Don't ask us how much weight we've gained, don't tell us we look huge and for god's sake don't assault us with your ugly calloused dirty hands.
It's just never, ever ever ever acceptable. Okay? I mean, it just isn't. I'm sorry if your brain turns off at the mere sight of a pregnant woman, but just, I don't know, put your hands behind your back and tape your mouth shut if you have this problem. Because it is definitely your problem, not ours.
I did have one person ask me if she could touch me. It was nice of her to ask, I guess. Except, she'd already touched me. "Is it okay to touch?" she says, poking at my belly.
No.
No.
No.
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