At lunch with colleagues: The clueless VP of Finance, always one to stick her foot in it, interrupts my conversation with my other colleagues to ask:
"How are you feeling?"
"Great," I say, in that tone I hope conveys matter of fact and disinterest. Not to be dissuaded, her next question is:
"Really? No morning sickness?"
I let a pointed silence pass until we're all feeling uncomfortable and then I say, clearly annoyed, "No." (Office-speak for: If I wish to discuss my medical issues with you, at lunchtime, I'll let you know.)
At the water cooler: "There's a rumor about you."
"Oh yeah?"
"Should I say congratulations?"
"If you like."
"Do you know what you're having?"
"Yes."
"Are you telling?"
"Nope."
At lunchtime again: (My officemate who ought to know better): "Are you having any cravings?"
"Other than to bite your head off? No."
At home, with friends: "Let the pregnant lady go first!"
"Where is she?" I say, looking around.
At work talking about parking: "Well, you'll be getting premium parking soon, right?"
"No."
"You're pregnant, you know. You deserve it."
"Yes, I'm pregnant. I'm not disabled."
I've got three months to go. Anyone else I can alienate?
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