Dressing is a Snap

During my last pregnancy, I stacked wood, hiked through the woods, shoveled snow, slogged through knee deep snow to string up sap tubing during sugaring season, and plowed our driveway using our John Deere tractor all the way up to the point of delivery (literally-- there was a snow storm the night we went to the hospital). In short you could say I was moderately active during the entire thing and I had no problems whatsoever except one--my pants kept falling down.

This is actually a common issue with what passes for clothes for women these days with the apparently persistent fad of having your pants come up to about your mid thigh but stopping short of covering your nether regions without extra help. I've begun avoiding this fashion for my professional appearance by shopping at used clothing stores, where old fashioned slacks meant to stay up have been abandoned by fashion-conscious women in favor of the butt-crack version. And for the outside work, which requires rugged, warm clothes, I usually just turn to the men's section.

Alas, it turns out they don't make maternity clothes for men. Nor do they make outdoor women's clothing for pregnant women. So what is a pregnant tomboy-farmer to do?

I posed this question to google and was heartened to find that I was not the only who noticed that maternity pants do not stay on. But the solutions ran short of the mark:

1) Wear work out pants. Fine for grocery shopping, lounging, power-walking, entertaining friends and family, doing dishes and sleeping in. Not so fine for trudging through snow, protecting legs from splintering wood or scratchy briars. Verdict: Not Tomboy Certified.

2) Wear a sundress. Fine for summer, if you're hosting cocktail parties, which you probably aren't since you're not drinking. Not so good for winter, dirt, hiking, or anything else. Verdict: Not Tomboy Certified.

3) It's only for 9 months. Fine for those who think pregnancy is God's Gift to Womankind. Not so good for those of us who realize that 9 months is only 3 months shy of a year. Verdict: Not Tomboy Certified.

I did finally come upon one woman who mourned the fact that they don't make suspenders for pregnant women. For a while I wondered what a pregnant woman's pair of suspenders would look like, and then realized that the only people who ever wear suspenders are beer bellied men, and that actually therefore they are made for pregnant women.

So: My husband found me a nice pair of black suspenders which I am even now wearing under my shirt to prevent my pants from falling down, and fully intend to wear them whenever I need to venture outside. This year when I plow the snow, it won't fall down into my underwear, and I will be able to walk through the woods without stopping every two seconds to hitch my pants up. Maybe, if I start wearing them like my beer-bellied fellows, people won't even realize I'm pregnant. They'll just think I'm a long haired Santa Claus. Verdict: Tomboy Approved.